0_o A Moment Of Healing... In A Blog.

It’s the simplest question we ask, and yet it’s the one we never quite find a complete answer for- ‘why?’

Why, why, why, why?

I love curiosity. I find an inquisitive nature admirable in a person.

I find imagination admirable in a person.

I find the ability to just be admirable in a person.

I find the ability to wonder, think, be fascinated, admirable in a person.

And you know what?

I am that person.

I finally worked out what I like about me, and it's this;

I am awed by the world around me, the little, perfect moments in which life is just... beautiful.

I seek beauty in everything. The beauty in a frosted, misty morning, kookaburras laughing as I stumble on my way to the clothes dryer. The beauty in that single moment where you're sitting around talking to your friends, music playing quietly in the background, twilight lingering before it gives way to darkness and glistening, mysterious moonlight and star-studded sky. That moment where you truly appreciate the people around you, the world around you. Where every breath of air is wholesome and refreshing, and time slows.

I love that I'm always wondering about things, and that my mind is like this vast, varying landscape that I see no end to, for me to explore.

I guess that means that the beauty I see in myself, is that I see the beauty in the world.

That's enough for me. No more self-hate.

I am who I am. That's all I should be.

Also, Alice, you are a Silly Banana. But nobody in the entire world is a Magical Doom Wizard, no matter how nasty they are.

Meh.

I worry a lot. I mean, I worry a damn, awful lot.

I worry that I'm too full-on. Too passionate about everything in life. Too overzealous. Too predictable. Too clingy. Too suffocating. Too much to bear.

Then I worry that I'm not interesting enough. Not intelligent enough. Not beautiful enough. Not socially apt enough. Not a good enough friend. Not a good enough human being. Not good enough for anyone.

Farout, I still don't know if I like who I am. I hate so many of my traits, so many of my abilities and inabilities. It's so draining to spend life questioning whether I'm worth anyone's time. Questioning whether I'm even tolerable, let alone likeable.

And now I leave, to stop annoying you all.

Ciao.

Armageddon.

When I claim to be a Word Nerd, I do not just meant that I like using 'big words'. I am a poet and author in the making. To read some of my work, go to http://words-are-art.blogspot.com/

For those who appreciate the more visual side to art, I reccomend visiting http://mycallinginlife.blogspot.com/ this blog follows a few art projects of Scott's. His work is absolutely brilliant, so it's definitely worth the read. CLICK THE LINK!

Now, onto the purpose of this post, beyond endorsement.

To be completely frank, I'm utterly sick of hearing about cases of Swine Flu.

The only reason there have been so many deaths from the illness is that it is new to humans, our immune systems have never had to fight it before. When standard influenza was first introduced to humans, it would have had the same affect. The only threat poised by Swine Flue (H1F1 influenza) is if it mutates. This is not likely to happen. The second the ailment was discovered, the world cried "Pandemic". This is the same as the situation with Bird Flu, yet I see no one keeling over from that anymore. Apparently, it's no longer going to be the death of us. The media frenzy over Swine Flu and Bird Flu alike do no more than contribute to the heightened state of paranoia in the world. Eventually, if this trend continues, we'll see a typical 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' affect. Eventually, there really will be a pandemic, but the world will be too busy rolling its eyes to realise that it's for real this time.

Suck it up, people. Swine Flu is not going to bring Armageddon upon us all.

Exams.

Ah, the sweet constraints of stress and anxiety inflicted upon upper-secondary students by the ever-looming exams! For myself, and many other year eleven students in my school, exams start in... two days. A petrifying thought, particularly since I am doing six TEE (GSCE/HSE... whatever tehy call them, wherever you are) subjects.This, for Australia (or at least WA) is the maximum number of TEE subjects allowed. Due to the nature of Italian, I have to do two exams for that subject, one for speaking, and one for everything else. This means that in total, I have to complete seven exams. Two of which are sciences, three of which are based on language, both our own and foreign, one on media and then is the dreaded MATHEMATICS.

I am a Word Nerd, a verbose language person. I pick up other languages with relative speed and ease, and I excell in English and literature endeavours. I manage to be decent at biology, I'm doing okay, and certainly improving in chemistry. Media is a piece of proverbial cake... Maths, however...

For me, words simply...click. They fit into place. Just another cog in the works. Numbers.... numbers are more like spanners in the works. So it is for my maths exam that I fear. My average is set at about 66.6% thus far, and I'm fucking terrified that I'm going to fail. I would really rather not.

So this, another milestone, another chapter in my life, is causing considerable stress, though, as I did with the graduation of primary school, I will likely look back on this and roll my eyes, believing that it was so silly of me to be anxious.

On a lighter note...

Ice skating.

A friend of mine has invited me to go ice skating for her sixteenth birthday. I've never been ice skating before, but I hear that it is...painful for the uncoordinated. I am the epitome of uncoordinated. I trip over my feet, fall up and down stairs, walk into trees, walls and doorframes in plain sight...

I think, that at the very least, people will get a good laugh out of me with a pair of ice skates on.

It should be fun. I look forward to it. Though I may be cursing Stephanie when I leave the rink with a bruised ass.

Emo Friends And The Benz

I am painfully aware, at the moment, that I am up to my eyeballs in 'emo' friends. Friends who have no real or major problems in the present, and cannot seem to let go of their pasts. I mean, I have had a pretty shithouse past, major by most standards. Sure, it took me a while, but I got over it. Now I wonder why my friends cannot do the same. There is so much good going on in their lives at the moment, with the exception of perhaps the dreaded exams. The problem is, the more these people are senselessly, needlessly miserable, the more it rubs off on those around them. Melancholy, I have decided, is like a pathogen. It spreads and multiplies, infecting everyone. Think of misery as... as... swine flu. Do the world a favour, if you've a confirmed case of misery, quarantine yourself!!!! We don't want your icky, dirty emo germs. We want your clean, vibrant happy germs. Joy also has a pathogen-like nature, but as far as diseases are concerned, I much prefer the smiley one to the misery one.

So, if you are a victim of this disease (either swine flu or emo-ness), do us all a favour and quarantine yourself.






...also... I defeated my little brother in UpWords using the word 'benz' :D




Ciao, peeps.

I Am.

I am...
I am the figure
Embraced by night.
I am the creature,
That bringer of fright.
I am the eyes
Of the accused.
I am the soul
Of the abused.

I am...
I am the demon
That lays in wait,
Never shifting,
Yet swayed by fate.
I am the girl
That's locked inside,
The little child
With ancient eyes.

I am...
I am the one
Locked in the room.
Wrapped in darkness,
Befriending gloom.
I am the soul
Who will stand;
Stay stonger than
I ever planned.

I am...
I am the woman-
Though not yet...
The one to place
The final bet.
I am the youth,
So downtrod,
Who will defy
All the odds.

I am...
I am alive.
I am...

Sobbing and Schooling

So, here I am half an hour after getting home from school. Instead of eating and arguing with my brothers as I usually do in the half an hour after I get home from school, I've been in my room crying. Note that it takes an awful lot to make me cry. Yet here I am, typing away at my laptop, tears still flowing. I suppose I should explain. I am in year eleven. A TEE student. 6 TEE subjects. I'm a 'nerd'. I have a small group of close friends, I don't party, or drink, and I'm highly unpopular. I always have been. I've always been bullied, but now it has gone too far. Today, I was sitting on the bus next to my friend, Tom. Across from my little brother, Connor. Just as I do every single day. Then, contrary to usual, I was approached by three girls who usually remain at the back of the bus... away from me. One is a year 10, the other two were year 9s. These girls greeted me with the words;
"Oh, my god... is it true?" now, as you may assume, I was pretty fucking baffled by this. Somewhere in the works of jumbled words and accusations, they explained that somebody had written rumours about me on the walls of the girl's toilets. They claimed that rumours of me had been going around year nine. The validity of the other is questionable, since no year nines, with the exception of those two girls and my little brother, know me. However, the former is plausible, since girls make a regular habit of writing malicious lies on walls about each other. I think it's cowardly. Anyway, according to these three... questionable sources... the alleged writings claimed that I was...

There's no pretty euphemism for it...

And it really makes my stomach churn. It's disgusting...

Gah... Claimed that I was nothing short of a prostitute.



Personally, I find such things... vile beyond words. It quite literally sickens me to hear it. Makes me feel physically sick. I am notorious for my distaste and outright hatred of such things, so I wonder why anyone would believe I'd partake of such... filth.


All I can say is that the thought of me being accused of.. of... that sickens and depresses me. Angers me... has resulted in me crying for what is now 45 minutes. I swear, I am so fed up with school, with bitchy girls and petty lies. I'm sick of people constantly teasing me, constantly calling me names- "ugly, bitch, freak..." and to add rumours to this... it's completely shattering. Particularly when those rumours are so despicable....



And to think that after all that, those girls would have the gall to approach me and ask me "What's wrong?" when they see me so close to tears?!?!?!?!


I FUCKING HATE HIGH SCHOOL!

Quiz

I'm bored, so I decided to do a quiz that I copied from Scott's blog. [LOL]
Booooooooooooooooooored. Hmm... See whatcha think.

Do you want a boyfriend / girlfriend?
--I have a boyfriend. An incredible, brilliant, handsome, amazing boyfriend who I wouldn't trade for the world.


How many texts are in your inbox?
--Ummmmmmmmm... 187... I can't be stuffed emptying it more often.



Have you ever kissed anyone in the past week?
--Not nearly enough, but yes.



What can you say about the first girl on your top?
--Legend.



What about first boy?
--I love him. Simple as that.



Would it hurt seeing someone make out with the last person you kissed?
--I can't think of anything that woud hurt me more.



Your ex calls you to hang out what do you say?
--"I'd rather swallow nails."


Last person you gave a hug to (not family)?
--Scott. :D



What do you hear right now?
--Nothing. :) About time I got some peace!



Where's your phone right now?
--Beside me.



How are you feeling?
--Headachey. Bored. Suspiscious (I just heard my mum and my aunty gossiping about me)



Do you think anyone stalks you?
--Pah, no. I'm hardly fascinating.



You're trapped in a room with your ex for 3 days, what do you do?
--Maim him to the point that he can't stab me, and then glare lots and compose violent, hateful poetry.



Have you seen anyone you knew and purposely avoided them?
--Yes. They are called enemies... and annoying people.



Do you say sorry first?
--I say sorry waaaaay too often. For things which do not require an apology... Like hating my laugh. Lol.



Think of the last time you were REALLY angry when was it?
--Today, when my brothers hit me on the head with remotes.



Name something you are doing tonight?
--Talking to Scott on msn, and wishing I could be talking to him in person.



Is there someone you can't stop thinking about?
--I rarely stop thinking about Scott. <3<3<3



Will tomorrow be better than today?
--I sure as hell hope it is.



What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails?
--My lip.



Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
--There isn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind.



Is a best friend or ex pissing you off at the moment?
--Not really, no.



Who are all of your texts from?
--The great majority are from Scott.



Anybody on your top friends ever admitted to liking you?
--Thankfully, yes.



Do you trust all your friends?
--Most of them... usually.



When is the next time you'll see the second person on your top?
--Sad face... not for a while. She's in England!



Do you think you've changed over the past year?
--I have changed shitloads. For the better.



Will your next kiss be a mistake?
--BLOODY HELL NO! Hopefully, it just won't be cut too short. Curse the presence of other human beings!



What kind of music annoys you most?
--Bubblegum-pop, hip-hop, rap, and really bad country songs about people who pat your dog.



Do you like peanut butter?
--That depends. Right now, I'm kinda over it. Check back next week.



Who owns the last two cars you rode in?
--My parents.



Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you?
--Being friendly and helpful to strangers is what I do for a living, so no.



Are you taller than your mom?
--I was taller than my mum in year 6.



Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
--Oh, god... the butterflies... so many butterflies... and tingles... and hyperventilation... and increased heartrate... gah...



Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
--Scott or Kirsten.



Do you plan on moving out next year?
I bloody well WISH.



Where did your last hug take place?
--At home. Saying hello to my Aunty.



Have you kissed anyone on the lips within the past month?
--Yes, but not nearly enough.



Who's the last guy you spoke to?
--*smiles lovestruckenly* Scott.



Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
--Kirsten, and Scott.



Is this year the best year of your life?
--By FAR.



Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy/girl?
--It would have been a waste of time to tell that person my name, so yeah.



Could you ever be friends again with someone that broke your heart?
--No, I really don't think I could.



Are your eyes the same color as your mum's or dad's?
--Well... you could say my dad's, since both our eyes are blue, but I don't know anyone with eyes my colour.



Do you find guys/ girls with facial piercings attractive?
--Not particularly. Depends, really. I mean, if it suits the person, then sure... I suppose?



Does the person you want most right now know that you want them?
--Nope. But want him, I do.



Have you ever gotten in a fight with someone, and never made up?
--Often.



Do you think age matters in relationships?
--That depends.



Have you ever taken a non-sexual shower with a member of the same sex?
--Uh, NO! Why the fuck would I do that?



How do you vent your anger?
--Swearing loudly, verbally abusing my brothers, writing angry poetry/violent scenes in stories, pacing and hurting myself. [Unintentionally]



Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn’t feel it?
--No. I really couldn't.



Do you keep your relationship status to your self?
--Nope. Otherwise everyone would think I was on drugs... or delirous... or had been taken by aliens... How else would I explain going from depressed to happy?



Do you hate the last guy/girl you had a thing with?
--There aren't many people in the world I do hate.



Have you ever blocked someone on myspace?
--Not yet. I'm new. :P



What is the connection between the last person who called you?
--I can't remember... people don't really call me that often... OH! I think it was Kirsten, cause she's my 'sister from another mister' and she needed to chat.



Are you looking forward to anything?
--School on monday. Learning to drive. Graduating. Moving out of home. Having an actual life.



Are your parents divorced?
--Nope. 18 years of marriage and they're still happy.



Are you drifting apart from someone?
--I hope not.



What were you doing at 10am?
--Sleeping! Which makes me very happy.



What are you listening to at the moment?
--Okay, already had this question, except now the answer is "My annoying fucking brothers in the next room"



Who did you last recieve a myspace message from?
--Scott.



Who's your top friend?
--You mean who's my best friend? Kirsten.



Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
--I can last in a lifelong relationship without even CONSIDERING cheating. So yeah.



Think of the last person who said I love you that wasnt family, what did you say?
--"I love you too, babe"? I think...



What type of day are you having?
--A crappy one.



Who was the last person you took a picture with?
--Dunno... Probably Scott. I don't like photos.



Are you in a good mood?
--I'm in a lonely mood.






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Okay... Now I'm not bored. But I am lonely. *sigh*....


Ciao, people. Thanks for tuning into my undoubtedbly boring expose` of... myself...

Rant

While I don't consider myself a particularly spectacular person, I no longer hold the belief that I am unworthy of life. So, as a result I am here to ask why people insist on forcing those who refuse to conform below them. Now, please don't allow my use of the word 'conform' to pain me as 'emo'. For starters, it is a tragedy that such a word has come to be associated with one social archetype alone. Secondly, I do not possess any stereotypically 'emo' traits, and thirdly, I hate labels. Why must we categorise human beings, the most complex beings known to us, into oversimplified boxes? Yes, I am saying that human beings are the most complex creatures on Earth. This is scientifically proven due to bilaterally symmetrical encephalisation (the increase of brain size and complexity within a species over evolutionary time). However, complexity is not paralell with superiority. I do not believe humans are above any other organism. Including species from the families Protista, Fungi and Plantae. Seriously, people. We are not the only species capable of sentient thought, and even if we were, how does self-awareness make us any better than an amoeba? Certainly, an amoeba doesn't think, doesn't know it's alive... yeah... it pretty much just exists, as was stated in a conversation with Scott today. However, an amoeba cannot mourn this lack of though, as it would require an awareness of loss which it simply does not have. I cannot say that this unawareness would make the amoeba any happier than a human, since, being a single-celled organism, it has no brain and thus no emotion, it does not feel happiness. Nevertheless, I cannot say that its position on the planet is any less important than our own. Remove the amoeba from the environment and the entire ecosystem collapses. This is how the world works. Take out the bottom brick and the whole wall falls down. Just like the amoeba, we are a brick in the wall of life. No more significant, no more important. Yet, humanity continually places itself above every other known, and every unknown species in existance. Many people (those with strong religious beliefs are hereby excluded from the following insult) are arrogant enough to state that ours is the only planet in the universe to sustain life. Really, now. Let us be intelligent. Earth sustains life because its proximity to the sun allows for water (a polar covalent substance) to be present in its liquid form. Look up into the sky at night. The countless stars you see there are but a fraction of our galaxy alone. Take into account the rest of the galaxy, the countless other galaxies, and the potential for alternate universes, and then you have an inconceivable number of stars. Stars are suns. Around each of those infinite other suns, there are several planets in orbit. Also take into account the potential for water to be replaced with a different polar covalent substance, and the potential for organisms based on substances other than carbon (silicon, for example). Now tell me that there is no way there are countless other planets sustaining life. I dare you.




My rant is complete.


Thankyou and goodnight.

See, This Is Why I Don't Like Filling Out "About Me" Boxes...

Would somebody kindly inform me as to why I am so... weird? Such a... freak? I mean...

... My own mind is a mystery to me, being a place in which I can get lost. I speak formally, but live in jeans, tanks, tees and whatever's comfy. My diction goes from formal and with full use of my extensive lexicon to australian slang and making up words. I write poetry and prose, I'm a bitch but I care. I don't think before I speak but I always speak my thoughts. I'm a music nerd to the core, but I can't play an instrument. I'm a hypocrite but admit my flaws. I'm confident but have no self esteem, and at the end of the day, my mind works in ways that are nothing short of weird, baffling, and...abnormal.



I don't know...





I really don't know...

Alphabet Soup.

G'day,

Ironically, this has nothing to do with alphabet soup. So, I have just joined myspace... interesting site, that. I'm extremely glad for my knowledge (however limited) of HTML. But my life is boring, well... except for literature class, media, all the social dramas (argh), and any conversation/time spent with my boyfriend. So enough of my life, and onto...

PERSONALITIES

Your upbringing, life experiences and... some other deeply buried element (which I personally believe to be your soul) define your personality. It is because of the 'life experiences' factor that personalities change. If your memory was erased, would you still be the same person as before? Would the impact that your past actions had on the world be enough to force you back into your original personality as they are reflected back at you? Would you have a clean slate? No more guard? No facades? No psychological issues stemming from prior trauma?

I suppose you can give me the answer to this if I ever lose my memory... of course, you'd have to tell me WHY you were giving me this information... and I wonder, would explaining this push me back into my original personality, even if I was out of it in the first place? There is one thing in this situation that I am in no doubt of; memory or no memory, I'd still love my boyfriend, very much so.

Now that I've a lot of random, irrelevant bullshit, I leave you.

--Ciao! *disappears in a cloud of purple smoke*

Mi Amore

Alright, so I am more or less the luckiest female on the planet. Why? My boyfriend, Scott. (Mine :P). To summarise; he's intelligent, artistic (Holy Ass-Balls, you should see his drawings), musically talented (Multiple instruments, anyone?!), hilarious, witty, observant, sweet as fuck, handsome, and in general, wicked insane! (My equivilant to utterly, completely, and totally awesome).


Scott, tu e` mi amore. Ti amo moltissimo!

Yeah, his blog is by far the most amusing I've ever read. His mind is just that brilliant.
http://gotta-ramble-on.blogspot.com


... Can you tell he's a Zeppelin fan? Yeah... a credit to his superb taste in music.


Love you Scott,

The rest of humanity? Eh... you have your upsides...

Thought Think Thunk Thenk

For some obscure reason, my obscure mind has been locked on the obscure thought of... thoughts. Obsure, eh? :P


Think about it; when you're thinking to yourself, is the voice (of your consciousness, ignore all the other voices) in your head the same voice with which you speak aloud? Not really... Not for me at least... But then again, do you hear your own thoughts? Technically, no, because they are not 'heard' (term used very loosely) through soundwaves... Although, it certainly seems like you are 'hearing' your conscious thoughts, they seem to have sound... all this is probably not making much sense... sorry. It's just, when you are thinking, you can 'hear' your conscious thoughts as words in your head, correct? This is the 'voice' I will be referencing throughout this post.

As you think, you 'hear' the voice in your head... but how are you 'hearing' the voice if it is not being 'heard' in the conventional way? What way is it being heard?


ARRRRRRGH!!!!

Sorry.. this post probably made no sense whatsoever... I blame it on my mind for being so... weird...

I also blame it on my boyfriend for scrambling my mind further.

Sorry, Scott. :P

Ciao to the rest of you.

A Totally Pointless Rant About Moments

So once again I find myself sprawled across my bed on my laptop typing into a blog. Today the thing that's on my mind seems to be...

moments.

Now, I don't say moments in a dramatic, girly, cheaply-made soap-opera sense. Au contraire! I say 'moments' in a poetic sense. I have many aspects to my personality, I can tell you that now. That said, I can safely state that despite this fact, essentially, I am the poet. To my very core. I think like a poet, even when I'm not composing poetry. I see life not in years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes or seconds, but in moments. Time is a relative thing, depending on our mood and environments, seconds become hours, years; minutes... time dilates and contracts depending on certain elements. Moments, however, need no measure. They are simply those sections in life, no matter how great or small, which stand out above the rest, forever holding a place in one's memory. It is often the simplest of these moments that strike the deepest chords, that are preserved most strongly in memory. Such is the case for me, at least. I won't say that moments are snippets of life which are 'perfect', as not only is 'perfect' a laughable impossibility, but some moments are horrible. Moments of sheer, undiluted, bloodcurdling terror (whether that terror stems from being chased by a fat guy with a rifle or pissing your pants in front of your class at show-and-tell when you're six is irrelevant). Moments of complete panic, of total excitement, of utter exhiliration, of contentedment... no matter which way you cut it, it's these moments in life that count, even if they do haunt your nightmares (like that poor, poor six year old).

--Sarah out.

This Is A Post

Now normally it is at this point I say something at least moderately astute or verbose... However, thanks to my boyfriend being an extremely sweet creature, my mind is still trying to form coherent setences while simultaneously mentally kicking me for grinning like an idiot. So, now that I've made public the fact that despite being a callous bitch I'm actually quite the romatic, I'm going to stop this incessant rambling and move onto a topic that isn't quite so convoluted in sentence structure...

Uh... Um... DAMNIT! I can't think of anything... Gimme a minute...

...

...

...

...

Books!

Alright, so I am Blogspot's resident Word Nerd. I'm also an avid reader. I find myself constantly immersed within the pages of a book, to the point that the only times I don't trip over when walking at school is when my nose is in a book. I read everything from fantasy, to sci-fi, to horror/thriller, to crimefiction, to autobiography, to classics. Reading is excellent, people. Expand your vocabulary, stimulate your imagination, GO ON AN ADVENTURE!

I dare you.

Fallen

Okay, this post is going to show you EXACTLY how my mind works when I write poetry... below I have quite literally typed out my every thought as I created the poem. I hope you find this interesting or insightful. Let me know what you think of the poem.



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#Have you ever, Ever felt like this? Where strange things happen, Are you going 'round the twist?#


Not only was it an awesome show when I was younger, but it's a tune that's echoing around my mind at the moment...



Do you ever wonder... ever think... ever dream... Do you ever ask yourself the questions that swirl through your mind in the final seconds before you lapse into sleep for the night?







Do you laugh and do you cry?
Do you know the reason why?
Do you rise and do you fall?
Do you mourn for one and all?
Do tears tumble down your cheeks,
Like salty, morose, crystal creeks?
Does your smile, light your face,
Did you fall from your grace?




Do you breathe your joys and fears,
Soft against comp'ny's ears?
Did you stand so tall and bright,
'Till you fell into the night?
Do you mourn for what once was,
The place you were, so high above?
Were you once, glorious and pure,
Now the cancer, once the cure?




Do you see your own reflection,
Gazing back, to leave you sickened?
Do you see all that you were,
All the beauty, all the allure?
Do you see what you've become,
The filthy, foul, feral no-one?
Does you stomach churn to see,
That in the end, you're just like me?










Fallen... Fallen Angel...Fallen... Fallen.

Title--Fallen

Family Matters.

Every day I wake up to my two younger brothers yelling, running around and playing the playstation. My parents are already at work, there's housework to be done and no one but me is going to do it. This is what the school holidays mean to me. Sometimes I go into work, only to discover that I, a fifteen year old girl (who is desperately awaiting her 16th birthday in November-- HELLO, Learner's permit!), am the most experienced waitress and have to fix all the problems that have arisen since I last worked, and train the new girl (who will turn out to be incompetent and barely able to speak english...). There is a point beyond me complaining to this, I swear. I'm getting to it, so please be patient with me.

Like any human being would, I wish to socialise with my friends over the school holidays. I personally believe that this is reasonable of me. My parents, due to the amount of work they have to do, cannot drive me places and as a result I am home-bound. I am not allowed to take public transport (and even if I was, there is no bus service near me). It is in my nature to be independant, and so I hate that I have to rely on my parents for transport. My main issue is, that while they expect me to be 'responsible' and maintain the house while they're at work, my parents are pretty damn strict. I am more or less a prisoner in my own home at the moment, not to be dramatic, of course. This brings me to the point of today's post...

PARENTING.

I am a member of generation-Y2 (the generation after the one that everyone is complaining about, and at the end of the day, Y2 is sadly similar to Y). Parents all raise their children differently. I am the eldest of three children, and my parents were pretty damn hard on me as a child. Because of this, I have become a respectful, dilligent, albeit deviant adolescent. My two younger brothers (the youngest in particular) are a different story. My own mother will admit to you that she was far stricter on me than she was my siblings, and that she still is. I personally believe that the disciplin with which I was raised is a good thing. I am generally well-behaved, respectful, hard-working and well mannered. That has in no way suppressed my personality. I'm still stubborn, argumentative, weird, and a little dark and deviant. I don't see the way I was raised as 'bad' in any way. In fact, I'm glad that my parents raised me the way they did... I just wish that they would allow me, as I am now, responsible, well behaved, to have a little more freedom. I am, as I have previously mentioned, a very independant person. I need space, I need isolation to an extent, and I need my freedom. I need to feel as if I am in control of my own life and my own actions, otherwise I start to feel out-of-control, suffocated, claustrophobic... this is just who I am. Now, my parents do not like the idea of giving me this freedom, not because they want to oppress me, but because they want me to be their 'little girl' forever, although they're already painfully aware of the fact that I'm already 'all grown up'. I may still have a few more years of adolescence ahead of me, but I've always been quite mature for my age (I say this not to be egotistical, but as a simple fact). My mother always said I was "3 going on 30". All I am asking, is why I cannot be allowed to grow up... I'm not the type of person who is going to get out, get drunk and get laid. I do not need alcohol to have a good time, I have enough silliness and random fun in me as it is (when I'm in my element). All I want to do is go spend time with my friends, go shopping with my best friend, see a movie with my boyfriend, go to get-togethers among my friends and I... it's all rather harmless. My idea of a party involves lollies, soft drink, table tennis, a swimming pool and my mates. I don't know what people find appealing about booze and bongs. My parents know this, so I fail to see why I am so trapped at home.

Sorry, in the end this did turn out to be a bitch session... I wasn't planning on it and I apologise.

Aspirin

Okay, so I decided to research aspirin today because I was curious as to how it worked. I've already researched THE HELL out of paracetemol and ibuprofen, so I decided it was time to give aspirin a go....




...it's not to pleasant...

That said, nor is any painkiller. They all come with risk. Which leads me to the topic of risk.






There are those in the world who regard themselves risk-takers. They do things which they (and the rest of their society) believe are dangerous, and thus, risky. However, I ask you to question the meaning of the word 'risk'. The dictionary (or at least the Encarter dictionary on my laptop) defines risk as the "statistical odds of danger: the statistical chance of danger from something, especially from the failure of an engineered system". Note the use of the word 'danger'. It is another word that we ought to more clearly define, as one person's definition of danger may differ to that of another. A professional rock-climber may not see scaling Everest as dangerous, while the accountant most certainly will. That may be a bad analogy, but you get my point.

Words are complex things. Their denotative and connotative meanings change and adapt over time. A single word may have multiple synonyms, all which have a slightly different attitude, tone or meaning, and all of which fit a particular situation perfectly. Words are delicate things, and when used properly can be incredibly beautiful indeed. Take poetry, and any song that wasn't written by a rapper or a cocain-addicted-two-dollar-hooker. I am a self-confessed word nerd, I am a poet, a lyricist, a budding author... Words are my domain... they are my art and my expression.


Now, since it's 3:00am, I believe I ought to get some sleep before I must endure another day of intense boredom. At the very least this post provided some insight into the workings of my mind... How I start on a topic like aspirin and wind up on the topic of language... Of course, if I had more time I'd return to the topic of aspirin and actually get to the point I was planning on making, but that is not the case.
Until a more decent hour today,
Ciao.

Technology

Have you noticed that no matter how much you know about computers, there always seems to be some problem you can't fix? That even if you designed the mobile, there'll be a glitch you just can't solve? You purchase a moblie on a 3G network which promises to provide phone reception ANYWHERE, even in rural areas. Then take it to you SEMI-RURAL home only to discover that the only way you can send a message is by frantically running around your house screaming cusses in an attempt to attain ONE BAR of reception! As you may have guessed, this is an issue I have. Another issue I have is that despite knowing a hell of a lot about computers (not through crappy 'using computers' courses at school. Sorry, Ms Dekker, you didn't teach us a bloody thing. I learnt everything from my dad), I can't seem to avoid barrages of computer problems. Thankfully, after three hours of yelling euphemisms for the word 'fuck' so that my parents don't yell at me for swearing, I usually fix the problems. The fact remains that the problems are there. At work, the eftpos will stop working until someone hits is with a carafe. Naturally, I believe that our problems would be solved if we hit the great majority of the STAFF with a carafe... maybe it would knock some sense into them... but then again, I think half their problem is that they've been kicked in the head one too many times by the inbred horses they ride. Sorry, I digress.. back to the crux of this rant...

TECHNOLOGY.

I think the problem with technology is that it has progressed to the point where we fallible humans are the only things holding it back. As soon as someone is dumb enough to give cash registers artificial intelligence- and a sentient intelligence at that- we're all doomed. Do panic, because I assure you, there are people out there dumb enough to do such a thing... the only problem is that they're also brilliant enough to know how. This is another problem of modern society (and yet another nonsensical digression); common sense is a rarity. To quote my boyfriend (who I think stole it from something a relief teacher once said, who stole it from a eulogy in an English newspaper) "Common sense just isn't common any more". As a result we have brilliant, brillant people doing really dumb things. Another issue directly linking to the endangered nature of common sense is idiots with power. Take for instance George Bush (Obama, thank heavens you took his place). I'm an Australian, but that doesn't mean I'm exempt from the consequences of American politics. Speaking of Australia and politics... another idiot who had power- John Howard. All I can say is that I sincerely hope Obama and Rudd do their respective countries some good.






I'm fully aware that this post was rambling, meandering and whiney... I started off talking about technology, but continual digressions led me to politics... Hopefully I at the very least entertained you in the process. That is, if you could understand my convoluted, rambling sentence structure...

Pastafarianism.

"In the begining there was a word, and the word was 'Argh!'."
-Piraticus.

For those of you who have no idea what the HELL ASS I'm on about... Read the Gospel Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Whether you're christian, islamic, jewish, pagan, an aethiest or a scientologist, the Gospel will open your eyes to JUST HOW STUPID IT IS TO FIGHT OVER RELIGION!

The thing about the Gospel is that the arguments, as ludicrous and plainly fictional as they are, are watertight! There's no way that you can (in an intellectual debate) dispute the arguments made! It's sheer, undiluted brilliance mixed in with a little sillyness! On top of this, Pastafarianism is made to sound so very appealing! It makes you WANT to become one! I am a scientist at heart, though I do have a very deeply rooted spiritual side. I'm not religious but I hold faith in particular aspects of the supernatural. I do not believe there is a higher power, only our higher selves... that said... I WANT TO BE A PASTAFARIAN!


Here's the run down. The Gospel CONCLUSIVELY proves that humans descended from pirates. Pastafarian heaven includes a beer-volcano and a stripper factory. There is no God, just the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Gravity? YEAH RIGHT! CLEARLY we're all being held to the earth by the Flying Spaghetti Monster's Noodly Appendages (that FSM just LOVES touching us). Tailbones as tails that shortened over Evolutionary Time? AS IF! OBVIOUSLY they're weapons from our pirating days!


That is just a taste of the ludicrous, hilarious awesomeness that is The Gospel Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. It makes a VERY important point--


WHY FIGHT OVER SOMETHING AS PETTY AS RELIGIOUS BELIEFS?

To quote Atreyu in the song "Can't Happen Here"; "Does your god know my god? This is how the world will end."

I AM NO LONGER AN ANGSTOSAURUS!

Okay, people.

I noticed (ever since I met my boyfriend and stopped being so morose) that my posts are awfully depressed and angsty, not to mention violent. Oh, the enlightenment of being happy! Lol. So basically, I'm informing you that the miserable, angsty person that I once was has more or less died... Which means that you get to read the slightly more interesting side to me: MY BRAIN! MWAHAHAHA! Now you will get to read my abstract ponderings, philosophising, thoughts, rants about politics, etc. You might even hear a bit o' humour! Yes, I have that side to me!


So to launch my happy-Sarah faze, we have this...













A ramble about Questionable Content.

QC is a webcomic (yes, I am JUST THAT geeky!). If you're into intellectual, witty, music-related and dirty humour.... I reccommend it! The characters are mostly young indie girls, two guys, and their 'Coffee Of Doom'. I find it quite amusing. I liken myself to Penelope. The defensive, weird, ranting book nerd!!!!

You can read QC at www.questionablecontent.net


Happy reading!

Questions.

Hello again.

Happy easter to all.
In a philosophical mood... so I'm asking the question 'why?' a lot.
There's a reason children ask 'why?' so often...
They have not yet been reprogrammed by society to bite their tongues, so they allow themselves to act on their curiosity.

Why are we here?
Why do we put faith in something we have no proof of?
Why do we celebrate easter and christmas even if we aren't religious?
Why is the universe expanding?
Why can't I live forever?




Then an equally good question... 'how?'

How is the universe expanding if it's infinite?
How did we come up with the first form of communication?
How did the universe come to be?
How can life be all there is?
How can there be more?



Well, I'd better shut up before I spiral into a quantum void of questions.
Ciao!

Screw The Psuedonyms

Psuedonyms are silly. They take too long. Fuck 'em. I'm not going to bother. Also... I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND! :P


Wow... I didn't think I'd HAVE a boyfriend to say that about... EVER! :D Not that I'm complaining in the least!






























































































































Orange is a colour... and a fruit....







































*poke*